So this morning, I was pondering prayer, and I noted that one of my most memorable times to pray was when my time at US Cellular was coming to an end. That job was good for a time, but it didn't end well, and I found today that I still have quite a bit of bitterness over it that I need to get past. I guess I knew that already, but it hit me kind of hard this morning when I prayed about it.
The thing with USCC is that I had a supervisor that was terrible. Easily the worst I've ever had and hopefully the worst I ever will have. They were obviously looking to get rid of me as I received disciplinary stuff for all kinds of weird "offenses." My car's transmission decided to crap out on me, and so I was late because I had to limp that car back home, and get the other one along with waking every up so that the Queen could keep it. Written up for being late because "I always have an excuse." I was also written up for being late...during an ice storm and when the highways were completely snowed under.
Anyway, having been written up for this and actually setup on an official company performance improvement plan for failing to take responsibility for my actions (I suppose the transmission failure was my fault to an extent, you know - I should have known it would make me late), I was rather flustered. I prayed now and again about it, but it kept getting worse, and the stress of being on the verge of job death just made me lash out. Finally, I was past the date when it was supposed to have been reviewed. I had switched supervisors. I thought everything was going well, but it was still hanging out there. I finally said, "God, I don't know know what is supposed to happen with this, but thy will be done." I went to work, and shot off an email asking that the improvement plan be put to rest one or the other since it was past the date. I was fired the following day. How do you explain this in an interview? You can't say they were out to get you, because that doesn't fly. Easy answer. You don't. My official reasoning? "They said I wasn't dynamic." Not a lie either. That was part of their reasoning for firing me (along with clearly having issues with a female supervisor - yeah, they accused me of being sexist as well, which I did not include in any interviews). Yeah, I got a lot of confused looks.
But the lesson here is that after struggling for months at that job, I finally left the whole situation in God's hands, and he acted. Now, I'm in a job that is loads better than US Cellular. There is no comparison between the two. In less than a year, I was back up to the pay rate I had before. The hours are better. The management is better. The work I do is better. And here's the kicker: I didn't apply for it. I had my resume out on a couple sites, but this job is not one that I even knew about. I was contacted, interviewed, and hired based on the title of my job at US Cellular. And to top that off, that title actually had very little to do with this job.
God had a plan to improve my life at that time, and all I had to do was turn it over to him and let him do it. I still find that amazing.
But I was still fired for a stupid reason.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Book News Release
As I've said, these posts are not so much for the self-promotion, but more what I've been finding as I pray more often. I mentioned the press release a couple days ago. Well, I've gone from zero knowledge about how to write a press release to having one completed now. It reads very smoothly and despite the fact that I cannot provide any reviewers' quotes, it seems fairly promising. I am rather proud of it considering, like I said, that I'd never written one before. I simply asked for the creativity to pull it off.
I'll be sending it around to news outlets to see where this goes. If I'm on track, then this will bring some impressive results. If I'm blowing smoke and thought it up on my own, then not much will happen with it. We shall see.
I'll be sending it around to news outlets to see where this goes. If I'm on track, then this will bring some impressive results. If I'm blowing smoke and thought it up on my own, then not much will happen with it. We shall see.
Imagine
I heard once that when you have a song go through your head, it might be God trying to communicate with you, especially if that song is completely random (from your point of view). This morning, I had a completely random song go through my head. I cannot think of anything I encountered that would have inspired this particular song, so I figured I would give it a listen and see if there is anything to it.
I would say there's some truth within these lyrics. Just like it is easy to take something out of context, it is just as easy to place something into too much context. John Lennon was a flower child and a half, to be sure. He was all about peace and love during the Vietnam War, and really against pretty much everything with any level of organization (you know, like the Beatles -- I digress).
Probably Lennon's biggest single hit was the song Imagine. As long as you don't pop the song into Lennon's personal context too much, you can glean his intent as well as fell the divine inspiration he was given (whether he knew it or not -- that's just how God works). From a global perspective, Lennon imagines there is nothing that makes people fight against each other. He believes that if none of these things existed, then there would be peace because people would have nothing to fight about. There is some merit to that thought, but with a complete absence of all of these things, we end up with anarchy. People need a direction of some kind. Fortunately, if we abolish everything on earth, we still have the guidance from Jesus.
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...
In verse one, he debunks heaven and hell. Lennon himself probably did that on purpose to shy off all the uber-religious types, but look at WHY he says it. Note that the lyrics don't exactly say it's wrong to believe in heaven or hell, they only say "imagine." "Imagine all the people living for today..." That should sound familiar. Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow, for it will worry about itself. (Matthew 6:34).
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
Here, he tosses out countries and religion. Those are probably the two largest causes of war. People have their boundaries and in a quest for more power, they invade other countries. Those boundaries define who people are and how different they are from one another. And the establishment of religion makes the same kinds of boundaries and some even evoke violence. The crusades are the Christian example of violence related to religion and in modern history, 9/11 would not have happened if not for religious differences.
This would make one point a finger and state that I'm being religious here. Well, religion is an establishment and words are words. I view what I do as a lifestyle since I live it daily. I don't claim a specific denominational separation in my Christianity. At the same time, Jesus discouraged violence, making the "Christian" crusades actually wrong. He also discouraged forcefully "converting" anyone to what He taught. There are multiple examples of Him allowing people to walk when they couldn't do it, His teaching states that His way is a narrow path, and He even taught His apostles to not force the teaching on who they taught. They were to kick the dust from their shows as they left. Hardly a violent outlook.
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
This last actual verse continues to echo Jesus' teaching. Mark 10:17-31 tells of a rich, young man that came to Jesus and asked what he had to do to follow Him. The man had followed the commandments of Moses, but Jesus told him to get rid of his possessions. The guy was not able to do it. He wasn't able to "imagine no possessions" as Jesus encouraged. Besides, in Christ, we're a family -- a "brotherhood of man" as it were. At the end Matthew, Jesus tells the apostles to go into all the world.
I would say there's some truth within these lyrics. Just like it is easy to take something out of context, it is just as easy to place something into too much context. John Lennon was a flower child and a half, to be sure. He was all about peace and love during the Vietnam War, and really against pretty much everything with any level of organization (you know, like the Beatles -- I digress).
Probably Lennon's biggest single hit was the song Imagine. As long as you don't pop the song into Lennon's personal context too much, you can glean his intent as well as fell the divine inspiration he was given (whether he knew it or not -- that's just how God works). From a global perspective, Lennon imagines there is nothing that makes people fight against each other. He believes that if none of these things existed, then there would be peace because people would have nothing to fight about. There is some merit to that thought, but with a complete absence of all of these things, we end up with anarchy. People need a direction of some kind. Fortunately, if we abolish everything on earth, we still have the guidance from Jesus.
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...
In verse one, he debunks heaven and hell. Lennon himself probably did that on purpose to shy off all the uber-religious types, but look at WHY he says it. Note that the lyrics don't exactly say it's wrong to believe in heaven or hell, they only say "imagine." "Imagine all the people living for today..." That should sound familiar. Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow, for it will worry about itself. (Matthew 6:34).
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
Here, he tosses out countries and religion. Those are probably the two largest causes of war. People have their boundaries and in a quest for more power, they invade other countries. Those boundaries define who people are and how different they are from one another. And the establishment of religion makes the same kinds of boundaries and some even evoke violence. The crusades are the Christian example of violence related to religion and in modern history, 9/11 would not have happened if not for religious differences.
This would make one point a finger and state that I'm being religious here. Well, religion is an establishment and words are words. I view what I do as a lifestyle since I live it daily. I don't claim a specific denominational separation in my Christianity. At the same time, Jesus discouraged violence, making the "Christian" crusades actually wrong. He also discouraged forcefully "converting" anyone to what He taught. There are multiple examples of Him allowing people to walk when they couldn't do it, His teaching states that His way is a narrow path, and He even taught His apostles to not force the teaching on who they taught. They were to kick the dust from their shows as they left. Hardly a violent outlook.
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
This last actual verse continues to echo Jesus' teaching. Mark 10:17-31 tells of a rich, young man that came to Jesus and asked what he had to do to follow Him. The man had followed the commandments of Moses, but Jesus told him to get rid of his possessions. The guy was not able to do it. He wasn't able to "imagine no possessions" as Jesus encouraged. Besides, in Christ, we're a family -- a "brotherhood of man" as it were. At the end Matthew, Jesus tells the apostles to go into all the world.
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
It appears that Lennon wasn't the only one. It appears that Jesus beat him to the punch a long, long time ago.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Windows Aftermath
So I arrived back at the car after work, and wouldn't you know it? The window works again.
Sinners and Windows
One thing that's bugged me about the angle church tends to take on a lot of stuff is the idea that everyone continues to sin, whether you like it or not. It gets to the point that church begins to feel like an alcoholics anonymous style meeting ("Hello, my name is ______, and I'm a sinner"). And while I'm sure that has a place for some, I don't quite understand the over-emphasis on it. The justification for this idea is one verse which says "All have sinned..."
Okay, all have sinned, I get it. I have sinned as well, but contextually, it's a past tense phrase. If we were meant to be continual sinners, it would say "all have sinned and continue to do so despite their better judgement." Rather, the past tense usage is the encouragement that there is hope for those who have into that "new creation" status the Sinners Anonymous meeting leaders don't dig into much. I have no doubt that there are people out there who use the "I'm a sinner" mantra to continue to sin since it's ok because everybody's doing it.
But to be honest, it bothers me to be continually called a sinner every time I walk in. I have spent many an hour in anguished prayer working to overcome the things that I've done that I know are sinful. When I walk in on a Sunday morning, my sin list would be a very short one, if any. I say that not necessarily to boast of how good I am, but how the presumption of a past tense verse leads us into believing that everyone is "doing it wrong." Jesus went through life without sinning, and since he was in a human body, it means it is possible for us to do that going forward.
No, we're not perfect, but even the alcoholic, years after his meetings, only tells people that he "used to be" an alcoholic. Well, all "have sinned," but we were also made into new creations through the blood of Christ, so I would thank them very much to please stop calling me an active sinner. If that's boastful, then let me boast that through the blood of Christ, I have been made free of these things, and ask why they insist on holding them over me. That is akin to our alcoholic having taken no drink is 50 years and still being called an alcoholic.
I do believe that people can reach the point in their lives where they can choose not to sin. We have complete control over our minds and bodies. We can choose our actions and thoughts. To be caught up in the idea that we are incapable of overcoming sin is to say that we are incapable of distinguishing right from wrong. I come back to the fact that Jesus did not sin. He was given the opportunity, and he chose not to. Since he is our example, I believe that we can follow that example as much as any other, and actually be children of God as opposed to "a bunch of sinners."
Now, that being said, as I pulled up to the security thingamabob outside the parking garage, I discovered, quite to my chagrin, that my driver side window motor has decided (since yesterday) to stop working. I cannot begin to iterate how annoying that was (and is). I would just like the car to work consistently for a little while without something else breaking. I haven't even gotten all the disposable parts changed out yet.
Okay, all have sinned, I get it. I have sinned as well, but contextually, it's a past tense phrase. If we were meant to be continual sinners, it would say "all have sinned and continue to do so despite their better judgement." Rather, the past tense usage is the encouragement that there is hope for those who have into that "new creation" status the Sinners Anonymous meeting leaders don't dig into much. I have no doubt that there are people out there who use the "I'm a sinner" mantra to continue to sin since it's ok because everybody's doing it.
But to be honest, it bothers me to be continually called a sinner every time I walk in. I have spent many an hour in anguished prayer working to overcome the things that I've done that I know are sinful. When I walk in on a Sunday morning, my sin list would be a very short one, if any. I say that not necessarily to boast of how good I am, but how the presumption of a past tense verse leads us into believing that everyone is "doing it wrong." Jesus went through life without sinning, and since he was in a human body, it means it is possible for us to do that going forward.
No, we're not perfect, but even the alcoholic, years after his meetings, only tells people that he "used to be" an alcoholic. Well, all "have sinned," but we were also made into new creations through the blood of Christ, so I would thank them very much to please stop calling me an active sinner. If that's boastful, then let me boast that through the blood of Christ, I have been made free of these things, and ask why they insist on holding them over me. That is akin to our alcoholic having taken no drink is 50 years and still being called an alcoholic.
I do believe that people can reach the point in their lives where they can choose not to sin. We have complete control over our minds and bodies. We can choose our actions and thoughts. To be caught up in the idea that we are incapable of overcoming sin is to say that we are incapable of distinguishing right from wrong. I come back to the fact that Jesus did not sin. He was given the opportunity, and he chose not to. Since he is our example, I believe that we can follow that example as much as any other, and actually be children of God as opposed to "a bunch of sinners."
Now, that being said, as I pulled up to the security thingamabob outside the parking garage, I discovered, quite to my chagrin, that my driver side window motor has decided (since yesterday) to stop working. I cannot begin to iterate how annoying that was (and is). I would just like the car to work consistently for a little while without something else breaking. I haven't even gotten all the disposable parts changed out yet.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Next Step
So I'm asking God for what comes next, and without thinking about it, I type "How to promote a self-published book" into Google. It seems that the goal is to write a press release about my book and shoot it via email (no interaction -- my favorite) to news outlets. We'll see how that goes...
I Want To Know You
Had another song going through my head. This one has been running through my head a lot lately, probably because I'm struggling to really know what I'm supposed to be doing. I have a lot of ambitions. Probably too many for one person. I work on screenplays, novels, music, along with producing, directing, and performing. I also want to be involved in something at church that I feel would work well for me, but is it best for me and them? I don't hear much back from the guy in charge, which is often an indicator to me that maybe I'm not supposed to be there (or be there yet). For me, it goes back to that parable of the talents. Jesus said if you don't use what He's given you, then you're in trouble. (Luke 19:11-27)
So for this issue of mine, it goes back to that patience thing again. I have to wait for results as well as waiting for the answer. Maybe I've heard it already and I'm just unsure. But as I wait, I hear this song... I just want to know Him more.
In The Secret by SonicFlood
In the secret
In the quiet place
In the stillness
You are there
In the secret
In the quiet hour I wait
only for You
Cause, I want to know You more
Chorus:
I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more
I am reaching
for the highest goal
That I might receive
the prize
Pressing onward
Pushing every hindrance aside
Out of my way
Cause, I want to know You more.
I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more
So for this issue of mine, it goes back to that patience thing again. I have to wait for results as well as waiting for the answer. Maybe I've heard it already and I'm just unsure. But as I wait, I hear this song... I just want to know Him more.
In The Secret by SonicFlood
In the secret
In the quiet place
In the stillness
You are there
In the secret
In the quiet hour I wait
only for You
Cause, I want to know You more
Chorus:
I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more
I am reaching
for the highest goal
That I might receive
the prize
Pressing onward
Pushing every hindrance aside
Out of my way
Cause, I want to know You more.
I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more
Considering Entre Dos Tierras
So I had this thought yesterday that the next song to play on my iPod was important, and as luck would have it, the next song to pop up was in Spanish. I have songs from not only Spanish, but Swedish, German, and French on my iPod because I am more about the music than the lyrics when I listen to music. Probably has to do with my growing up to classical. A lot of Heroes del Silencio doesn't work so well without knowing the lyrics, but I still like to listen to it.
So after getting home, I grabbed the lyrics that someone online had so very kindly translated, and I've been thinking about it ever since. Let's tear this song apart here.
You can give away your soul if you want power. It's easy to shoot off your mouth. If you want to repent, you have a lot to fix. But I'm not to blame for your failures. You lose faith, any hope is in vain, and I don't know what to believe. You forget about me when no one calls, and yet you blame me when they don't. You're stuck between two worlds and don't give yourself any air to breathe. Leave your old life behind and don't be bitter about it and get out of the way. And if you don't want to change your ways then you have a lot of crap to take.
Rewriting like that, it does have a message. And it works. If you want it all, that's cool. We know the prince of this world is eager to take your soul for empty power. It's easy to lose faith when things don't go our way, and even easier to blame God for every failure. But he's not to blame for it. The lyrics say lands, but I think it could also be worlds. I stand between heaven and earth wondering what I'm supposed to do, and yet the answer is also in the song. Leave yourself behind and get out of His way. If that's not ok with you, then have a mud pie.
Kind of a weird thing to say at the end, but I'm sure it's probably a Spanish (or Mexican) colloquialism or something. I'm sure they think our cliches are just as weird. I often doubt whether the voice I hear is God or not. His voice is referred to as a "still, small voice," but really, what is that? I know when I heard that the next song would be important, I wasn't thinking about anything, but trying only to listen. I can usually tell is my mind is running something or not, kind of like when your computer revs up, you know it's doing "something," but very often, I haven't know whether the voice was God or just me thinking about something. You can often tell when whatever you're pondering is worthwhile or true, but then there are other times when you can't know that until you do what it tells you to.
And that's the part that's really scary.
So after getting home, I grabbed the lyrics that someone online had so very kindly translated, and I've been thinking about it ever since. Let's tear this song apart here.
You can give away your soul if you want power. It's easy to shoot off your mouth. If you want to repent, you have a lot to fix. But I'm not to blame for your failures. You lose faith, any hope is in vain, and I don't know what to believe. You forget about me when no one calls, and yet you blame me when they don't. You're stuck between two worlds and don't give yourself any air to breathe. Leave your old life behind and don't be bitter about it and get out of the way. And if you don't want to change your ways then you have a lot of crap to take.
Rewriting like that, it does have a message. And it works. If you want it all, that's cool. We know the prince of this world is eager to take your soul for empty power. It's easy to lose faith when things don't go our way, and even easier to blame God for every failure. But he's not to blame for it. The lyrics say lands, but I think it could also be worlds. I stand between heaven and earth wondering what I'm supposed to do, and yet the answer is also in the song. Leave yourself behind and get out of His way. If that's not ok with you, then have a mud pie.
Kind of a weird thing to say at the end, but I'm sure it's probably a Spanish (or Mexican) colloquialism or something. I'm sure they think our cliches are just as weird. I often doubt whether the voice I hear is God or not. His voice is referred to as a "still, small voice," but really, what is that? I know when I heard that the next song would be important, I wasn't thinking about anything, but trying only to listen. I can usually tell is my mind is running something or not, kind of like when your computer revs up, you know it's doing "something," but very often, I haven't know whether the voice was God or just me thinking about something. You can often tell when whatever you're pondering is worthwhile or true, but then there are other times when you can't know that until you do what it tells you to.
And that's the part that's really scary.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Entre Dos Tierras
In reference to my mobile post, I looked up Entre Dos Tierras along with a translation. Now I just need to figure out what it means...
Entre dos tierras by Heroes del silencio - Between 2 Lands
te puedes vender - you can sell yourself (as in giving your soul away)
cualquier oferta es buena - any offer is good
si quieres poder - if you want power
qué fácil es - how easy it is
abrir tanto la boca para opinar - to be so opinionated (mouthy)
y si te piensas echar atrás - and if you want to correct (reverse) yourself
tienes muchas huellas que borrar - you have many footprints (wrong-doings) to erase
déjame, que yo no tengo la culpa de verte caer - leave me alone as i'm not to blame for your failure
si yo no tengo la culpa de verte caer - but i'm not to blame for your failure
pierdes la fé - you lose faith
cualquier esperanza es vana - any hope is in vain
y no sé que creer - i don't know what to believe
pero olvídame, que nadie te ha llamado - but forget me that noone has called you (asked ur help)
y ya estás otra vez - and here you are yet again
déjame, que yo no tengo la culpa de verte caer - leave me alone as i'm not to blame for your failure
si yo no tengo la culpa de ver que ...but i'm not to blame to see that...
entre dos tierras estás - you find yourself between 2 lands
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
entre dos tierras estás - you're between 2 lands
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
déjalo ya - leave him already
no seas membrillo - don't be bitter (quince)
y permite pasar - and give way (as in get out of the way)
y si no piensas echar atrás - and if you don't think to look back (as in repent)
tienes mucho barro que tragar - you have a lot of mud to swallow
déjame, que yo no tengo la culpa de verte caer - leave me alone as i'm not to blame for your failure
si yo no tengo la culpa de ver que ...but i'm not to blame to see that...
entre dos tierras estás - you find yourself between 2 lands
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
entre dos tierras estás - you're between 2 lands
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
Entre dos tierras by Heroes del silencio - Between 2 Lands
te puedes vender - you can sell yourself (as in giving your soul away)
cualquier oferta es buena - any offer is good
si quieres poder - if you want power
qué fácil es - how easy it is
abrir tanto la boca para opinar - to be so opinionated (mouthy)
y si te piensas echar atrás - and if you want to correct (reverse) yourself
tienes muchas huellas que borrar - you have many footprints (wrong-doings) to erase
déjame, que yo no tengo la culpa de verte caer - leave me alone as i'm not to blame for your failure
si yo no tengo la culpa de verte caer - but i'm not to blame for your failure
pierdes la fé - you lose faith
cualquier esperanza es vana - any hope is in vain
y no sé que creer - i don't know what to believe
pero olvídame, que nadie te ha llamado - but forget me that noone has called you (asked ur help)
y ya estás otra vez - and here you are yet again
déjame, que yo no tengo la culpa de verte caer - leave me alone as i'm not to blame for your failure
si yo no tengo la culpa de ver que ...but i'm not to blame to see that...
entre dos tierras estás - you find yourself between 2 lands
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
entre dos tierras estás - you're between 2 lands
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
déjalo ya - leave him already
no seas membrillo - don't be bitter (quince)
y permite pasar - and give way (as in get out of the way)
y si no piensas echar atrás - and if you don't think to look back (as in repent)
tienes mucho barro que tragar - you have a lot of mud to swallow
déjame, que yo no tengo la culpa de verte caer - leave me alone as i'm not to blame for your failure
si yo no tengo la culpa de ver que ...but i'm not to blame to see that...
entre dos tierras estás - you find yourself between 2 lands
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
entre dos tierras estás - you're between 2 lands
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
déjame, que yo no tengo la culpa de verte caer - leave me alone as i'm not to blame for your failure
si yo no tengo la culpa de ver que ...but i'm not to blame to see that...
si yo no tengo la culpa de ver que ...but i'm not to blame to see that...
entre dos tierras estás - you find yourself between 2 lands
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
entre dos tierras estás - you're between 2 lands
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
entre dos tierras estás - you're between 2 lands
y no dejas aire que respirar - and you don't give air to breath
An Urge To Listen?
So as I'm leaving the office, I'm praying for guidance. The thought enters my head that the next random song on my iPod is important. Next song? Entre Dos Tierras by Heroes del Silencio. I dont speak Spanish, so I'll need to look this one up to figure out what it's saying.
Patience
One thing that I feel the need to pray for a lot of is patience. I am very, very impatient. This is why the Amazon sales ranks are dangerous for me. I obsessively click on the item and then keep refreshing it. I watch it go up higher and higher until someone buys a copy. Then it drops.
However, I need to be patient because given the nature of how my book is starting out, it will take time for it to start moving. The first buyers have to receive their copies, read them, and then be in a venue where they'd actually talk about it. That is a bit of time.
My impatience, of course, stems from my desperation to find a solution for that little student loan problem hanging over my head. But I have faith that the Lord will provide either the means to take care of it or the time for the means to come.
But that requires patience... And I think I've covered that.
However, I need to be patient because given the nature of how my book is starting out, it will take time for it to start moving. The first buyers have to receive their copies, read them, and then be in a venue where they'd actually talk about it. That is a bit of time.
My impatience, of course, stems from my desperation to find a solution for that little student loan problem hanging over my head. But I have faith that the Lord will provide either the means to take care of it or the time for the means to come.
But that requires patience... And I think I've covered that.
Status
So there's a thing starting at church that I find at least interesting, and one part of it suggests (I almost said involves, but only I get so involved in such a thing) blogging or keeping a journal of some kind. Well, as it's been a little while since I've updated this one, I figured it couldn't hurt to see what happens. I do find it interesting to go back through what I've written on here and as long as Google doesn't go under, it'll hold up for a little while. Besides, I've never gotten a comment from anyone on this blog since I started it except from the Queen, so I honestly doubt anyone reads it.
The church deal is called Soul Revolution, and apart from the intermediary worksheets and socializational stuff, the backbone has to do with realigning yourself with God's will. If you have ever read this, I'm not sure if I've ever come across as particularly religious, but the truth of that matter is that I'm really quite dedicated to what God wants me to do. I just have to admit that I am not 100% sure what that is. So the idea of an exercise that aligns my will to God's is attractive to me.
To begin with, I figured it would be a good idea to state where I am at the moment. Where you are is always a good place to start so you know if anything changes. I also need to work out the sort of "twitter" function of this blog so I can text or email to it if I feel so inclined.
To begin with, my family life is good. The Queen and princesses treat me well. While the Queen did babysit our nephew for a few weeks, Darth and Padme had the opportunity to place him in a preschool that is rather hoity-toity in Claremore, so good for them. The Princesses are all in school, though Sassy Pants is only half a day at the moment in Pre-K. If any part of my life were stable and good, it's the home life.
My job is all right. It is a good place to work, and it puts food on the table. I am very much fulfilling the ideal of working to eat, but I do enough on the side that I could be a full time worker in my spare time (which I'll get into later). But the company I give forty hours a week to is good, stable, and will serve as our source of income until something better comes along.
Financially, we're mostly there. The majority of the bills are paid on time every month thanks to a running budget schedule I created last November when things got really scary when the overtime was taken away. I have two outstanding items: one is a cell phone bill that is currently maintained by The Engineer. I really want to take that on, and I actually planned to if not for the other, more serious consideration: The Queen's student loan. This latter one is kinda scary. You see, it's as big and bloated as a tick that's been living on a dog's back for a month. We've had it on a deferment status for years because the Queen has no income. Well, they've drawn the line on it and now we owe $364 a month on it, and have since January (which we learned was going to take permanently a few months after that). It's official default date is currently October if it isn't paid on. Out of $364, I've managed to pay $200. And if something significant doesn't happen, I can only scrounge another $100 before the October due date. That's the scary one. It sucks because everything else is caught up and current. Any questions a to what my number one prayer consideration is?
And now, for everything else. My dreams. I dream of being a writer, and to that end, I've had some moderate successes, but only under my own power. I have a movie that I shot last October now in the final throes of post-production. You better believe I'm happy about that. It's going to end up being ok, probably, though I'm probably stuck in the bias of staring at it too long. I'm going to pop it on Createspace, make it available to buy on Amazon, if anyone is so inclined, and then register it on IMDB, which was the point to begin with. The bigger hope with it is for it to lead onto bigger and better things. I don't expect it to be the end-all of the movie world.
I've written a book. A novel that is, but isn't, about vampires. It's currently for sale on Amazon, also self-published through Createspace. If anyone does actually read this blog who doesn't know about this, then I don't mind telling you, but personal advertising wasn't the aim here. I hope that it does well, and it has many sequels that I'm going to write. My real hope with this one is that word of mouth is generated, and it sells at least well enough to take care of that student loan problem. If you really think about it, that's a tall order, but I believe that if that is its purpose, then God can make it happen. It's sold 10 copies so far just for people that know me. On Amazon, it has bounced from being at a sales rank of over 500,000 down to 57,000, which surprised me. Of course, now it's back at over 500,000 because the rush, I think, has worn off by those who will buy it just because they know me, and now everyone else is waiting to see if it's worth it.
I have a musical that I helped with osme years ago, and the preview album for it is also on Amazon. On the music front, I have plans for several recordings, and we'll see how those go. Planwise, I also want to shoot another movie as well as write more novels. So, I just keep going.
Finally, I am in the writing process of a "Creature Feature" script for a guy in Kentucky. He plans on shooting in December or so, and I'm kind of interested to see how he does with it. I finished the first draft last week, and he's already sent me back some feedback on it for me to incorporate while I correct all my typos.
So that's me. I'm a guy with a great family, a dream of writing, and a monkey of a financial problem. I want to track what goes on with this whole 60-60 experiment deal and see what of these items changes, if any. I may discover something completely new as we move along, but above all, I just want to hear God's voice through this. Really, that has been my one wish. I just want to know what I'm supposed to do.
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