The human race is obsessed with this question. We’re not satisfied with a solution for a problem. For some reason, we feel the need to explain the reason something occurred. To an extent, this makes sense for some things. Knowing the reason something occurred can help to prevent the same thing from happening in the future, so from that standpoint, of course the root cause is useful. However, this obsession can go too far by demanding a reason everything that happens, even when the “why” serves no greater purpose than the knowledge. Now, I’m all for knowledge, but knowledge at the cost of sanity is too much.
For instance, if your engine explodes, and upon inquiring as to why, the mechanic explains that oil is necessary for the continuous operation of a car engine, then you can use this information to always remember to keep oil in your car in the future.
If you end up in jail for stealing a woman’s purse, you know you’re there because you stole a purse, but then she comes around asks why you did it. In this case, your answer will determine whether she finds your reasoning acceptable to her as a valid reason for theft, and even more bizarre, she will believe or disbelieve based on your answer. However, knowing your reason will neither encourage nor deter her from participating in her own purse theft. What she needs is some kind of validation for the crime. If you say you did it on a dare, she’ll think you’re lying and don’t want to tell the real reason. If you say that you need the money, she’ll want to know why you need it. If your poor mother is dying and you need the cash for medical treatments or to prevent repossession of your house or car, she also won’t believe you because it sounds legit. If you say drugs and alcohol, she’ll nod and figure that was the reason. In no case is the information actually useful to her.
Another useless why comes when the family of a murder victim demands a reason for their loved one’s death. They obsess over this desire for a reason and demand it of the killer who takes great pleasure is not telling his reason. And really, when he does tell, it doesn’t help. Some claim this is called closure, but closure can be gained for most things by simply moving on. I know that’s easy for me to say, but I also don’t obsess over why things happen to me.
This escalates to a far larger and more illogical scale when you deal with natural disasters. Our cost of sanity is usually perpetuated by the media after the disaster or other calamity when they describe the people as “trying to make sense of the situation.” If a tornado destroys a town or a hurricane ravages a coastline, there is no “why.” It is nature. The only “why” you get is a meteorological explanation of weather patterns. Does that really help?
Anyway, it’s a facet of human nature to demand reasons, but most of the time, they don’t get you anywhere. I always love a good bit of knowledge, but if that bit is out of my hands, I move on. Sure, I ask “why” on occasion just like everyone else, but I don’t demand it if there is no answer.
That’s the worst answer you can give someone who needs that validation. “Just because” or “I wanted to” or even “it was fun” don’t settle one’s mind, and therefore, it makes a “why-obsessed” person crazy. But it is a lot of fun to make the person squirm when you can give it to them.
Personally, I accept that some things have no explanation or the explanation is unattainable, as it is for many of the things that I do. For some things, you can never find a reason. And guess what? That’s ok.
Posts
