Another Gift

So we went to Hobbytown USA at 71st and Memorial after lunch to see about another gift for my brother. We had checked this place out a few days ago when we were looking for replacement propellers for a helicopter that I'd gotten for Christmas and promptly broke the propellers on, but more on that later. There, we found an N scale crane car set that he liked and got that for him. Also there we met a guy who knew us from the old neighborhood on 14th St called Allen Crow. I didn't doubt he knew us cause I forget a lot of people and he not only remembered by brother but our next door neighbor, Matt. Wish I had a better memory sometimes for that sort of thing. I have a great memory so much of the time. Oh well.

Another shot at this

Today, I am going to try updating as I go. It is my brother's birthday and every year, we go to Ollie's Station Restaurant to celebrate. Ollie's is always a hit or miss on the food, and this time, it was marginal. I had gotten their buffet which was ok. We had gotten him a Nerf Hailfire gun which we learned he had gotten for Christmas so we're off to find something else. We got him a hot wheels car though which is what every 36 year old wants, don't you know.

We also found that Rock Girl's super power is falling down, but she claims that the Silents do it. She never sees it coming, and doesn't remember it later. I think she's just clumsy.

Day 7

Well, it has been interesting to see how my mind has reacted to my new refusal to snooze the alarm. First, I have pretty much settled into taking ten minutes to even acknowledge the alarm clock meaning as soon as the alarm goes off, my brain shuts off listening to it for a bit, like snoozing in advance. Second, since Monday, my mind has also worked to convince me that I have already snoozed it, and that having blown it, I might a well come back to bed. I am refusing this since I give my rational mind long enough to wake and note that I do not remember actually snoozing it. I have always managed to at least remember doing this. Third, and this is the weirdest of them all, I dream about sleeping. I dream about snoozing the alarm clock and going back to bed. I have dreamed about oversleeping and not caring about it.

When I think about this, it makes some level of warped sense. Major detractors to breaking any habit involve the brain finding comfort in routine. Any break in that routine, no matter whether that break is for better or worse, is met with stark rebellion from the subconscious mind. Well, I am depriving the mind of extra sleep, and I've worked this snooze thing to an art. I can shut off the sound of the alarm clock for several minutes, which is why i've always had more than one alarm clock. The hope was that the different sounds would mess with my head and I'd get up. No, turns out I can block them all out. The most effective thing I do is turning the alarm off. I am too tired to care about resetting it.

The one thing I have found I need to do is something. That's not a placeholder for my train of thought, that is a literal something. It could be watching a movie or writing this blog. It just needs to be something for me to focus on while I try to wake up after denying my subconscious the sleep it thinks it needs. Otherwise, I will simply move from location A to location B and snooze out again.

I'm sure this all must seem very silly, but any habit is significant to the person who has it. Whether you like it or not, everything you do routinely is a habit (we just normally call it a routine, because hey, we like synonyms for stuff). I routinely go to work Monday thru Friday. I routinely drive a certain path every day. I routinely put on my pants and tie my shoes a certain way. If you always do something, then congratulations, you have a habit. We don't think of it that way because the word habit tends to get a negative connotation associated with biting fingernails, spitting, and smoking (among lots of other things). However, by definition, any routine is a habit right down to the time you ALWAYS go to bed.

So 7 days down, 59 to go. I am surviving this, and I'm sure my mind will start to rebel more fiercely as I move on.