Life in the Band

I had intended to post a couple of things over the last few days, but then I considered that some things might be better left kept to myself. As anonymous as this blog is, if you know me, it isn't too hard to figure out.

One development, though, that I can talk about is my receiving the invite to play with the worship team this coming Sunday. I actually got the invite to the planning site last week, and this group is a class act above my last church. Where I learned all of these instruments, I learned by weekly sight-reading. There were no rehearsals (well, they were rare). Where I am now plans each weeks in advance, there is a rehearsal the Wednesday before, and then a sound check and run through on Sunday morning before church. Online, they have every song to listen to and music to the majority of them so you can practice them. It's pretty nice. I played bass again with a group.

On trying to live closer to God, I did feel a bit of my conceit crop up on the way home last night. Mostly everyone said 'hi' to me last night, and then not much else. I admit that I was quiet, and most of my silence resulted from my reluctance to just start bragging about how multi-talented I am.I thought I played pretty decently for being in a new situation with a new group of people. No one said a thing to me about that. Not even a quick attaboy. Part of me wanted to be bothered over this, but I also considered that I got complaints, and really, the bass line is supposed to be invisible when it's there, but missed when it's not. Hence, if I remained an invisible groove, I did my job just fine. After all, I shouldn't expect accolades for showing, doing my job, and going home.

It was also difficult for me to acknowledge only what they said when people called me a bass player. I wanted to spout out all kinds of retorts, such as "yeah, tonight anyway" or "that's all they'd let me play this time." But in the end, I simply said "yes" and moved on. Truly speaking, at this point in my life, I am more of a piano player than anything. I spend most of my time practicing that instrument and prefer it over any other. But in both of the churched I've played with, the piano player carries the softer parts of the service, and it's usually one person every week.

This leads me to my one complaint/frustration (not sure which...maybe both, though I'm not really bitter or anything). I was told when I talked to the worship leader that they used a schedule to rotate people so everyone has a chance. I wonder, though, if I'd only indicated that I play piano, as opposed to the entire stage, if I would ever have had the opportunity to play. Once reason that I play multiple instruments is to be able to fit in to a group wherever they need someone. I just like to play. I would rather play piano, but anything is better than nothing. What makes me wonder is whether they don't schedule any other piano players because they don't know if anyone else can, they're afraid of anyone else not getting the flow of the service, or if the player herself demands to play every week and WILL NOT be supplanted. Could be any...or all.

Regardless, I am happy to play again. I am going to be patient and get to know everyone in the group before trying to take over :-) The worship leader is aware of everything I put down that I can do, so if the opportunity (or need) arises, I will trust that I will be placed where I am needed.

A Discovery

So this morning, I was pondering prayer, and I noted that one of my most memorable times to pray was when my time at US Cellular was coming to an end. That job was good for a time, but it didn't end well, and I found today that I still have quite a bit of bitterness over it that I need to get past. I guess I knew that already, but it hit me kind of hard this morning when I prayed about it.

The thing with USCC is that I had a supervisor that was terrible. Easily the worst I've ever had and hopefully the worst I ever will have. They were obviously looking to get rid of me as I received disciplinary stuff for all kinds of weird "offenses." My car's transmission decided to crap out on me, and so I was late because I had to limp that car back home, and get the other one along with waking every up so that the Queen could keep it. Written up for being late because "I always have an excuse." I was also written up for being late...during an ice storm and when the highways were completely snowed under.

Anyway, having been written up for this and actually setup on an official company performance improvement plan for failing to take responsibility for my actions (I suppose the transmission failure was my fault to an extent, you know - I should have known it would make me late), I was rather flustered. I prayed now and again about it, but it kept getting worse, and the stress of being on the verge of job death just made me lash out. Finally, I was past the date when it was supposed to have been reviewed. I had switched supervisors. I thought everything was going well, but it was still hanging out there. I finally said, "God, I don't know know what is supposed to happen with this, but thy will be done." I went to work, and shot off an email asking that the improvement plan be put to rest one or the other since it was past the date. I was fired the following day. How do you explain this in an interview? You can't say they were out to get you, because that doesn't fly. Easy answer. You don't. My official reasoning? "They said I wasn't dynamic." Not a lie either. That was part of their reasoning for firing me (along with clearly having issues with a female supervisor - yeah, they accused me of being sexist as well, which I did not include in any interviews). Yeah, I got a lot of confused looks.

But the lesson here is that after struggling for months at that job, I finally left the whole situation in God's hands, and he acted. Now, I'm in a job that is loads better than US Cellular. There is no comparison between the two. In less than a year, I was back up to the pay rate I had before. The hours are better. The management is better. The work I do is better. And here's the kicker: I didn't apply for it. I had my resume out on a couple sites, but this job is not one that I even knew about. I was contacted, interviewed, and hired based on the title of my job at US Cellular. And to top that off, that title actually had very little to do with this job.

God had a plan to improve my life at that time, and all I had to do was turn it over to him and let him do it. I still find that amazing.

But I was still fired for a stupid reason.

Book News Release

As I've said, these posts are not so much for the self-promotion, but more what I've been finding as I pray more often. I mentioned the press release a couple days ago. Well, I've gone from zero knowledge about how to write a press release to having one completed now. It reads very smoothly and despite the fact that I cannot provide any reviewers' quotes, it seems fairly promising. I am rather proud of it considering, like I said, that I'd never written one before. I simply asked for the creativity to pull it off.

I'll be sending it around to news outlets to see where this goes. If I'm on track, then this will bring some impressive results. If I'm blowing smoke and thought it up on my own, then not much will happen with it. We shall see.