I'd like to introduce you to a game you may or may not have seen before. This game is called "Reply All." It's great fun to watch this play out as a spectator because you never want to be a participant in this game. If you're a participant in this game, you have failed. There are no winners. Well, the spectators are the winners if you really enjoy the head-shaking idiocy of the whole thing. Here's how this game works.
First, you have to be in a company or mailing list that has literally hundreds of people. Only with that kind of pool will you have enough players to make the game worth watching. If it's just your aunt and 3rd cousin, it won't last long.
The way the game starts is by someone accidentally sending a message to the wrong mailing list; this is probably the mailing list you were on, and you weren't supposed to get it either. If you're a level-headed individual who gets lots of emails, you'll look at this message, shrug, and then move on. If you're a player of "Replay All," then the game is on.
The volley starts by someone deciding they got this message in error, and the sender needs to know about it. Instead of clicking Reply, they decide to click Reply All to let that sender know. They put in a completely innocuous message such as, "Bob, I don't know what this is. Please remove me from this list." Sheep being what they are, this first message is followed by a barrage of "Me too" from at least a dozen other people.
It's time for the other side to get involved at this point because they've realized the game is on, but they don't realize that they need to stay out of it. The other side hits back with "Please do not Reply All." This might or might not have helpful instructions as to where to find the "Reply Only To Sender" button, or they could leave it at that.
Well, the "Me too" people already have a head start, and it takes awhile for that first "Don't do it" email to circulate, so that is followed by at least a half dozen more "Remove me from this list" or "Me too" emails.
Well, now management really wants a piece of this because they're getting outnumbered, so the next dozen "Me too" emails contain at least that many or more "Stop replying to all" peppered into them. At least one person by now will have changed the subject line to STOP REPLYING TO ALL (yes, in caps), but without a body text. The emails are flying fast and furious at this point with the "Me too" people desperately trying to out-email the "Stop replying to all" side as the game gets to the point that more than a hundred emails end up being sent clogging email boxes and exchange servers across the company.
Eventually, everyone has said their piece and it quiets down for a little bit. That is, until the crowd that only checks their email once a day comes in to find a zillion emails about something they have nothing to do with. They immediately (without a single glance at the subsequent string) reply all with the message "Please remove me from this list" before deleting the entire subseries of emails. The game resumes briefly with an angry "We already dealt with this. Stop replying to all" and a flurry of "Me too," but in the end, the game finally ends.
The last time this game happened, I kept every email and counted up the replies at the end, sorting them by the "remove me"s and the "stop replying to all"s along with a smattering of actual, subject-related emails that normally get lost with at least one being "Please disregard. Sent to the wrong list. Sorry." somewhere near the beginning of the game. That time, the distribution was about 50/50 between the sides.
I was reminded of this game this morning when there was an email for nominations for something or another, and someone replied all saying, "Not sure what I'm getting these. Please stop sending me these emails!" Oh, yes, he used that exclamation point! Because, why not? I got all excited hoping the game was afoot. Alas, no game this morning.
Next time the Replay All game starts in your office, don't be a player. Be a spectator and laugh at the simple-mindedness of your colleagues. Nothing shows character like a good game of "Reply All."
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
DIY Glitterizer
Ever heard of a glitterizer? It's a thing that Sassy Pants picked up with birthday money that had Barbie's name all over it. What you do is put glitter in the bottom, use a sticker on your Barbie whatever, stick it in the wardrobe looking cabinet and pushing the button which activates a little fan and blows glitter all over the item in question. The glitter sticks to the sticker, the item, everything within 10 feet of the glitterizer, and everything the item touches. If you've ever wanted to glitterize a house, but weren't sure how to go about, a friend of mine told me a story as to how you might accomplish this.
He had gone home the other day and found his eighteen year old daughter was going to paint with glitter. She has an artist friend who had done this by putting a little glitter in some water to dash up a painting or project or whatever with some shine, so she was trying it. Well, in the course of doing this, she managed to spill the glitter in her room. As any teacher of the very young will tell you, this isn't a problem as long as you nip that mess as soon as it happens and before it spreads, because everyone knows that glitter is a virus. And this glitter wasn't that cheap, hard metal stuff. This was the ultra fine glitter that you can get in your hair just by walking past the aisle containing it at Hobby Lobby.
Well, it was not duly nipped before their dog found his way into the bedroom and took it upon himself to roll around in the glitter. Now you have a glitter dog. Barbie would be proud, princesses all over are squealing in delight, and parents are praying that no one tries to do this on purpose. It gets better.
Where do dogs go? If you said everywhere, you would be correct. Guess where the glitter went? Did you say everywhere? You are so clever. This guy had glitter from one side of his house to the other by virtue of the dog making his rounds all over the house. This stuff is never going to come out of every nook and cranny it found its way into no matter what he does. He figures there is only one way to get to a glitter free house after all this.
Sell the house. I figure the least he could do is paint it pink first.
He had gone home the other day and found his eighteen year old daughter was going to paint with glitter. She has an artist friend who had done this by putting a little glitter in some water to dash up a painting or project or whatever with some shine, so she was trying it. Well, in the course of doing this, she managed to spill the glitter in her room. As any teacher of the very young will tell you, this isn't a problem as long as you nip that mess as soon as it happens and before it spreads, because everyone knows that glitter is a virus. And this glitter wasn't that cheap, hard metal stuff. This was the ultra fine glitter that you can get in your hair just by walking past the aisle containing it at Hobby Lobby.
Well, it was not duly nipped before their dog found his way into the bedroom and took it upon himself to roll around in the glitter. Now you have a glitter dog. Barbie would be proud, princesses all over are squealing in delight, and parents are praying that no one tries to do this on purpose. It gets better.
Where do dogs go? If you said everywhere, you would be correct. Guess where the glitter went? Did you say everywhere? You are so clever. This guy had glitter from one side of his house to the other by virtue of the dog making his rounds all over the house. This stuff is never going to come out of every nook and cranny it found its way into no matter what he does. He figures there is only one way to get to a glitter free house after all this.
Sell the house. I figure the least he could do is paint it pink first.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Being Wrong Is Fine
Without being deliberately boastful, I can tell you that I'm a pretty smart fellow. I have a lot of knowledge about a lot of stuff, and I actively use what I know to fill in gaps that make logical sense to me. This knowledge depth and my command of how to deliver it impresses a lot of people, and some of them think I'm a master of everything and know everything. I never claim to know everything, and I acknowledge that I'm wrong sometimes about my logical deductions regarding the gaps in my knowledge. I'm always interested in correcting whatever it is I don't know with actual facts so that I can be correct. I have no qualms over changing my mind.
Thing is, when people that I deal with learn that I don't know something or I get something wrong, it suddenly becomes a monumental event. They're all "we need to mark this down as the day you don't know something." It's like the incident, if you want to call it an incident, means more to them than to me. Really, being wrong isn't an issue.
I think the reason I complain sometimes about people being "stupid" has little to do with their level of knowledge. Most of the people I shake my head over are generally unwilling to learn what they did wrong so they always make me do it, or they are so stubborn, they refuse to change their ways or knowledge and cannot comprehend that what I'm telling them is true. Any contradiction to what they believe is considered to be wrong, and they want another answer. "That doesn't make sense" is an extremely common phrase, and even when I explain how I know it to be true, they cannot get past their prior knowledge to accept it.
On this, Doctor Who has a lot of good stuff in it, and occasionally, you get such a gem that it's worth keeping around. In the Satan Pit when confronted with the idea that they are dealing with something like Satan who could have existed prior to the universe, the Doctor came back with this one:
"I... believe. I believe I haven't seen everything, I don't know. It's funny, isn't it? The things you make up—the rules. If that thing had said it came from beyond the universe I'd believe it, but before the universe... that's impossible. It doesn't fit in my rules. Still, that's why I keep travelling. To be proved wrong."
I love that. Consider the implications of that. A thousand year old time traveler knows just about everything about everything, but looks forward to a time when he can be proven wrong. Why? Because that's learning. Never stop learning. Always be open to the possibility that there is something that can show you something that shakes your beliefs - your personal set of rules. Anytime someone tells me I am wrong about something, I always ask them to explain. This is not to confront them or challenge them, but I honestly want to know their facts and weigh them against my own. I am always open to being wrong if someone can show me how.
This goes right with what we learn from Mythbusters: Failure is always an option. Consider that. Humanity generally hates failure, but when it comes to failure versus success, you get something from each avenue. Yes, from a psychological perspective, we prefer successes and would rather remember them, but failure at least shows us how not to do something. Granted, failure to successfully land a plane might not give you a second chance, but in most cases, we can use the failure data to move forward.
The people I spoke of earlier? They cannot be proved wrong. They can't accept it. They also don't know how to deal with failure. Failure to them is a catastrophe where to me, it just means I have to change something and try again.
The people around me who seem to bask in the glow of my genius (I'm seriously not making this up) can mark all they want in their calendars, but for me, it's just another learning experience. I am to the point where I just embrace it for all it's worth.
Never stop learning. Every day can teach something new. Always keep that brain busy.
Thing is, when people that I deal with learn that I don't know something or I get something wrong, it suddenly becomes a monumental event. They're all "we need to mark this down as the day you don't know something." It's like the incident, if you want to call it an incident, means more to them than to me. Really, being wrong isn't an issue.
I think the reason I complain sometimes about people being "stupid" has little to do with their level of knowledge. Most of the people I shake my head over are generally unwilling to learn what they did wrong so they always make me do it, or they are so stubborn, they refuse to change their ways or knowledge and cannot comprehend that what I'm telling them is true. Any contradiction to what they believe is considered to be wrong, and they want another answer. "That doesn't make sense" is an extremely common phrase, and even when I explain how I know it to be true, they cannot get past their prior knowledge to accept it.
"I... believe. I believe I haven't seen everything, I don't know. It's funny, isn't it? The things you make up—the rules. If that thing had said it came from beyond the universe I'd believe it, but before the universe... that's impossible. It doesn't fit in my rules. Still, that's why I keep travelling. To be proved wrong."
I love that. Consider the implications of that. A thousand year old time traveler knows just about everything about everything, but looks forward to a time when he can be proven wrong. Why? Because that's learning. Never stop learning. Always be open to the possibility that there is something that can show you something that shakes your beliefs - your personal set of rules. Anytime someone tells me I am wrong about something, I always ask them to explain. This is not to confront them or challenge them, but I honestly want to know their facts and weigh them against my own. I am always open to being wrong if someone can show me how.
This goes right with what we learn from Mythbusters: Failure is always an option. Consider that. Humanity generally hates failure, but when it comes to failure versus success, you get something from each avenue. Yes, from a psychological perspective, we prefer successes and would rather remember them, but failure at least shows us how not to do something. Granted, failure to successfully land a plane might not give you a second chance, but in most cases, we can use the failure data to move forward.
The people I spoke of earlier? They cannot be proved wrong. They can't accept it. They also don't know how to deal with failure. Failure to them is a catastrophe where to me, it just means I have to change something and try again.
The people around me who seem to bask in the glow of my genius (I'm seriously not making this up) can mark all they want in their calendars, but for me, it's just another learning experience. I am to the point where I just embrace it for all it's worth.
Never stop learning. Every day can teach something new. Always keep that brain busy.
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