Easily Offended

Every get offended over something? Did you ever stop to ask yourself why you got offended? Most people don't because they're too busy trying to think of something to do about the offense, but it is actually worth considering because believe it or not, you don't have to be offended at anything.

Really, there are two kinds of things that offend people. The more justifiable variety concerns insults (subtle or otherwise) that are directed specifically at you or someone close to you and done for the sole purpose of pissing you off. No, the person didn't touch you, but they sure wanted to push your buttons for some reason. I can understand that sort of offense. We should be nice to each other.

The other kind of offense is kind of stupid in my opinion, but more common than the first. I also find it unjustifiable in most cases. This is where you are offended by something that someone else did or said, but not only was it not directed at you or said about you, but you were neither part of the conversation nor in this person's sphere of influence at the time it occurred. Similarly, perhaps you were part of the conversation, but whatever was said was simply part of that person's demeanor and not intended to be offensive in the least (yeah, this one is where I run afoul of offense 99% of the time).

Examples of the first type of easy. They're insults. The second variety is just as easy. Her skirt is too short, so I'm offended. He said "poop," so I'm offended. His grass is too tall, so I'm offended (or embarrassed even). The word "embarrass" looks like "bare ass" so I'm offended. You said the word "ass" on your blog, so I'm offended. I saw you work that Rubik's cube while you were walking from point A to point B, and I think you were calling me stupid cause I can't do one, so I'm offended. Be careful what you put in that email because you might offend someone. You were making fun of troglodytes, and my sister is a troglodyte, so I'm offended. I would go on, but I'm afraid I might offend someone.

See what I did there?

At some point in that last paragraph, you might have chuckled at the preposterousness of my examples, but those are some things that might offend someone who is in the area, and that's the only criteria too. You mention someone too stupid to (insert action here), and all of a sudden, someone gets bent out of shape about it. You did say BOB was too stupid to (insert action here), but since Bob actually is too stupid to (insert action here), he raises a fuss.

Here's where it gets really sinister though. Ever heard of sexual harassment? It can be a legitimate problem in some workplaces, but most of the time, the opposite sex enjoys their friendly banter. However, if you look at most company policies surrounding it, all someone has to do is be offended by something you said or did to report you for it. A specific example given in one training video (yeah, they had to go and make training videos to hammer the point home) concerns a male with a calendar that features women. It states that the male in question can be reported for sexual harassment simply for the presence of such an item.

No, I've never owned such an item, nor have I ever been reported for harassment. I give it as an example of extreme offendedness.

Now, why would anyone be offended at something second hand like that? Some just like attention, and raising a fuss gives them that attention. Some are sensitive about certain aspects of their lives, and someone even talking about something similar makes them uncomfortable. A lot of offense I've seen has to do with people who are actually ashamed of something, and if you hit that topic, they get weird about it.

You know what being offended accomplishes? Nothing. Rather than get defensive as a result, you should really examine why it was you felt so offended. After all, if you were not the topic of conversation, the person who just issued the offense did nothing to you. In fact, they probably did not wish to offend anyone. It happened incidentally as a result of your mind interpreting their words to become something offensive. Somehow, this becomes the offender's problem when, in fact, it should be the person who was offended. But in our world, do they ever get the stern taking-to? No. It's the person who innocuously did something to cause the offense.

Everywhere we go, it seems we have to walk on egg shells or risk offending someone we don't even know. Yes, I've managed to offend a lot of people in my day because (honestly) smart people very easily offend stupid people. We manage to do this by being ourselves. Someone asks a question, and we give a very straight, simple answer, and by doing so, now they "feel stupid." Well, they didn't need our help to facilitate that feeling, and while some stupid person out there (don't get offended; just own it) was probably offended by that, don't be. After all, was I talking directly to you, or is this a blog for anyone to read? If you actually were offended by anything here, you should reevaluate your life and determine, psychologically, why you found me so offensive.

In all honesty, I'm just writing. I write to clear my head and share my thoughts. That feeling you get that you turn into offense can be used to your advantage to do a personal introspective. Examine why you feel offended at that moment by that action. After all, someone not talking to you did not issue any kind of insult, so it isn't their fault. It is actually your fault that you are offended. Words are just words. Yes, they can hurt, but at the same time, a sword not aimed at you can't hurt you unless you jump on it. If you jump on a sword, whose fault is it that you were injured? I assure you that the sword bearer will simply be confused, especially if you blame them for simply having the weapon in your presence since you have a tendency to jump on their blades.

Personally, I'm to the point where I can acknowledge what I might find offensive, but I never get "offended" by it. I assure you it isn't as taxing as getting worked up over every little thing that someone says.