Lofty Attitudes

I'm a Christian. I've mentioned this before, and to that end, I try to be a good one. When I'm out in public, I try not to be a pain, I'm generally friendly to those who are being fair, and even when I'm dealing with people who service customers, I am congenial to them because a) I know what they're going through and b) 99% of the time, whatever is wrong is not their fault. This is not the case with some others who wear the Christian logo on their cars and t-shirts. You want a sort of righteous anger, that is how I feel about those who do not uphold the teachings that they claim to follow. As a disclaimer, no, I don't claim to be perfect, but I can claim that I do not do anything I list here, and I am well versed in the word and according to Matthew 18:15-17, one Christian can call out another on their sins.

The ones that bug me the most are those that do things BECAUSE they are Christian in that they feel a level of entitlement due to their faith. The action that sparked this rant was a story of a pastor (or should I say "pastor"?) who stiffed a waiter on a tip and wrote on the receipt, "I give God 10%, why should you get 18?" The waiter reported that the party of 20 (to which the computer automatically adds the 18% tip as it's a party over 8; a system that has been place for years) was generally arguing over the bill anyway, and didn't want to pay it. they said their service was great, but they didn't want to pay for it. And this is supposedly a church leader.

And on the subject of restaurants, you know which crowd is usually the rowdiest, messiest, and restaurants generally dislike? Oh, and tips the worst. We're already here, so you know which one. I've heard this answer first hand. It's the post church service Sunday crowd. Those people who just got out of church come to lunch and wreck the place. Like sitting for an hour has completely ruined their morning, and they have to take it out on someone. This is not how we're supposed to be.

Ever been cut off or run down by someone in traffic with a fish logo on their car? Yeah, 'nuff said there.

And how about them protesters? Yeah, you have the Westboro Baptist crowd that shames all Christians everywhere, but I'm taking a few steps down the ladder here. I mean those who protest whatever they don't believe in, or is against the Bible. Abortion clinics, gay weddings, whatever. Let's see what Jesus would do. I'm going to word this very carefully. How many times did Jesus seek out something that was against God's teaching and jut stand there and yell at them that they are wrong? Go ahead, give me a number. The answer is zero. Jesus taught the people many times, but he only told them what to do. Now, when people approached Jesus, he would give them some outright answers, but he did not seek them out. Here's the difference.

What many people do is go out to an abortion clinic, for example, and scream at those going in, or try and block the doors, or whatever. How much help do you think those people want having come to this decision? Especially from fanatics who won't listen to them. Jesus would weep, but he would allow them to do what they wanted. If they stood before him, and asked, "What do you think I should do," then he would tell them. Either that, or launch into a parable to illustrate for them what the right answer would be for them.

This applies to everything else in our world that goes against the teachings we've grown up to follow. What would Jesus do? He would let them go their own ways to make their own decisions, and find their own lives. He would give guidance where guidance was requested, but if they wanted nothing to do with him, he would let them. How many people did Jesus let walk away from him? How many did he give the harsh truth to, and when they left him, he told those closest that his is a hard teaching and not everyone can follow it? Jesus forced himself on no one. He simply lived his life as an example and let others follow if they wished. If they did not want anything to do with him, he knew he could not make them do it.

Jesus would also understand walking into a restaurant that he is responsible for the prices set on the menu that he can read beforehand, and also know that an 18% gratuity is added to parties greater than 8. It says that on the menu. Jesus paid the temple tax. He got the money from a fish, mind you, but he didn't try to stiff the temple because he belonged there.

Are you doing what Jesus would do?

Why I Don't Listen To The Radio

In my current vehicle, there is no way of hooking my iPod up to the radio system to listen to it through the speakers, so driving into work in the morning, I'm stuck with the radio. I had bought an FM transmitter, but it was cheap and within a few months, it stopped working. My radio has 10 preset buttons so that I can set myself up for 10 stations without turning the dial. Me being who I am, I have a range of different styles preset, so that I can flip around to each of them based on my mood at the time. Or that's the idea.

What I really use all those preset buttons for is to look for a station that is playing music. You see, radio stations have this weird idea that in the morning, you only want to hear one song and then listen to the DJs chatter followed by five minutes (at least) of commercials. I want to hear wall-to-wall music. DJs of the world, no one (or at least me) wants to hear about your home life, how hard it is for you to get out of bed, your kids, your drive to work, your opinions on anything, or you try to give some semblance of a news report with your "hilarious" but ultimately idiotic comments. And I'm not interested in your morning comedy routines either. I just want to hear the music.

I wasn't kidding about one song. On most mornings, I'll start with one station that might or might not be playing a song, and once I hear the talking, I start flipping. I usually have to cycle through 3 or 4 stations before I settle on the station that plays everything all the time, since they don't seem to have DJs to ruin the music with their talking.

That's my vent of frustration this morning. If you read my other post, you can see I'm not in the best of moods.

Profound Sadness

Nothing seems to affect me more than the sobering reminder that I'm just another stupid human. On most days, I seem different. That calm, level-headed demeanor that seems so unflappable combined with a brilliance that boggles the minds of those around me. Also, my humility. But then, I'm reminded that with everything that makes me good, there is a sort of yin-yang inherent in my personality that is altogether frightening. This demeanor comes up in moments of frustration when I have no control over a situation (or a string of situations). One moment, I'll be fiddling with a bargain basement Rubik's cube made out like a sudoku board, and the next, it has gotten stuck so many times that I've lost my place and throw it across the room causing it to shatter (yes, I've shattered a cube; pieces flew everywhere). I've lashed out at almost everyone around me at one time or another, and when it happens, it's like a complete change comes over me, and I become someone else. As soon as the outburst is over (which, no kidding, lasts less than ten seconds in pretty much every case), I'm fine. Well, almost fine.

You see, I have a conscience. I have a personality that is fairly passive 99% of the time, so the fact that I became uncontrollably violent for a few second always brings me down to a near depressive state. Over the years, I've learned to control my frustration so that I don't do anything to those closest to me, but for the Queen, even seeing that side of me is quite disturbing. Really, I don't blame her.

I thought about those moments throughout my life on my way into work this morning, and it made me very sad. It's the sort of thing that brings up everything else I have and haven't done, and other failures more than successes. I consider each one of those times a complete failure at living life the way I want to live it, and it serves to put at risk the only thing I actually can call a success in my life. My family. In a world where love is a four letter word, and families break up because someone didn't squeeze the toothpaste the right way, I have a level of pride in the fact that my family of five is together and happy. I know the princesses will one day go through own way (Rock Girl, for example, is entering high school soon, and we had a meeting with a counselor yesterday on making sure her high school years get her on the right track for college), but I knew the Queen and I would go on together doing whatever. The rest of my life is a dismal failure. My job is ok, but I don't enjoy it for the most part. No one wants my writing of any kind. They don't even want to read it. Even at work, where they know that I can, I got an email about something I had proofread yesterday, and big surprise, not a single suggestion was present in the document they sent. I mean, why even ask me?

At work, they have this silly health risk assessment quiz that you can totally lie on if you want, but there were questions about feeling hopeless or depressed or whatever, and on one of those, I put rarely, and on the others, I put never. That's just how I am 99% of the time. I guess I should have put rarely on all of them, since I feel pretty hopeless at the moment.