Insignificance

So why is it when you critique someone, and it prevents them from doing something they want/need to do, they focus on the most insignificant part of what you say and make that sound like the sole reason they have been denied. While I can't give the specific example here, I can relate it to a couple of real world ideas that sum up the situation nicely.

Consider a loan application at a bank. The bank person might deny with something like this:

Bank Guy: Thank you, Mr. Geek, for your loan app, but I'm afraid we'll have to deny you. You credit score is a 5. I'm not even sure how that's possible, but you haven't paid anything on time for the past 20 years, you've defaulted on every car you've ever purchased, your house is in foreclosure, and it appears your income to credit ratio is upside down. In addition, when you sign an application you should place the year after the date.

Irrational Me: You're denying my application because I didn't date it?! That's ridiculous!

Or perhaps you might go to a high scale restaurant that require the whole jacket and tie nonsense:

Maitre'd: Sir, I'm simply cannot allow you to enter the restaurant. Not only are you missing your jacket and tie, but what's left of your t-short is in tatters. You smell like you just crawled out of a dumpster, you actually tracked mud into our entryway (or at least I hope that's mud), you're overall very dirty, and your breath is atrocious. You also may want to tie your shoe, or you could trip as your search for a civilized lifestyle continues outside of this establishment. Thank you.

Me as a Vagrant: You won't let me in because my shoe isn't tied? That's ridiculous!

As stupid as these seem, I have a job that requires me to review stuff and occasionally send things back for further info. On more than one occasion, I denied stuff because info was missing or wrong, and then (purely as a courtesy) I commented on one point that was more minor, but I figured I'd mention it since I was emailing anyway. Yeah, recipient fixated on that point over any other. And yeah, pretty much to the extreme above. They were missing critical information that was central to this original request; I mean, to the point that the request could not be handled without it...oh yes, and I commented on the format of something else that was crystal clear, yet technically incorrect. I would have fixed it if everything else was right. Seriously.

So people need to actually read emails in their entirety and not just the last sentence. Maybe I should put the important stuff at the end...