A Story About A Passion Play Gone Wrong

I wanted to relay this story I heard the preacher at camp tell about when he went to see a passion play and the rather severe problems they had during the production. I'll do my best to remember all the details since it's been a few weeks since I originally heard it.

As you may know, a passion play is a story concerning the last week of Jesus' life on earth culminating in at least the crucifixion, if not the resurrection as well. Jesus Christ Superstar is a musical passion play, and Passion of the Christ is probably the most well know movie version of the story (as well as the bloodiest, only missing an NC-17 rating because of the subject material).

So, he was watching this passion play, and they reach the crucifixion part where Jesus was hanging on the cross. The actor was actually tied up to this cross and his final line is of course, "It is finished!" after which he bows his head, and the guards come out to stick the spear in his side, and then carry on. Well, after his line, he died and nothing happened. Apparently, the guards missed the cue and never showed. Jesus did the only thing a good Jesus can do in such an instance. He resurrected himself and cried out, more dramatically, "It is finished!" after which he bowed his head again and died. noting that the guards had not arrived, Jesus resurrected himself a second time, and cried out even louder and with more drama, "IT ... IS ... FINISHED!" after which, he died again.

By this time, the guards had apparently realized that they had missed their cue, and so they grabbed their spears and charged out to take care of business. Now, in order to achieve the effect of stabbing the spear in Jesus' side, the spear had a collapsible tip so that the Jesus actor would not be injured and real blood and water would not flow. Well, in their haste, the tardy guards grabbed one of the real spears and not the rigged-to-collapse one, and as they were in a hurry to catch up to their missed cue, they gave Jesus a hearty stab in the side ... where blood and water flowed. Jesus, was a really trooper, though, because the only way you knew anything was wrong was when he breathed in sharply through his teeth and clenched his fists.

Realizing they had actually stabbed Jesus, the guards rapidly got him off the cross and carried him backstage.

So for the resurrection scene, they pulled in second-string Jesus, as first-string Jesus had not had enough time to heal. The scene went on as planned, and at the end of the scene, they had this dramatic ascension whereby second-string Jesus was rigged to a tree behind the stage and slowly ascends into the branches ... or that was the plan. You see, rigs of this nature are carefully counter-balanced to the weight of the individual who is to be using it, and it turns out that first-string Jesus weighed a bit more than second-string Jesus. He told his disciples, "Surely, I am with you, to the very end of the a--" and the rig kicked in and pulled Jesus at blinding speed into the branches of the tree knocking second-string Jesus right out.

Fortunately, they didn't need a third-string Jesus because the play was quite over by that point.