Why I Do What I Do

After all my ranting and moping and such, I got on with my day. Over the past month or so, I had gotten into the Amazon Cloud Player, which holds some 250,000 tracks. I have no where near that many, but I figured after dragging through my collection of CDs and backups and everything else I have that resembles music, I would go ahead and back that whole thing up to my hard drive. The cloud player is my primary source of music, and I mostly download a few albums to play them on my iPod and cycle through them that way. So far, I'm up through the letter M. 32,000+ tracks takes a very long time to download.

Anyway, today when I logged into my home computer to make sure it was still going (it times out after about 12 hours), I paused before closing the connection to look at my desktop background. It is a picture of the three princesses that my brother-in-law and his wife took over the summer. As I looked into their smiling faces and eyes, I realized that despite my moping, I am quite blessed in my life, and it is for them that I work so hard at something I don't want to do. It is my responsibility to provide for them the best way I can, and should my ship come in, then it would only get better.

Another song I've been toying with also kept going through my head today. Probably been going through my head or a few days since I endeavored to arrange it and such. I wrote the music and lyrics for it, and in other times of distress, I have read through these words and found them very comforting. It is one of those where I was definitely inspired in its writing.

Blessed

Leaning upon your arms, Lord
I find the comfort I need
With less of me, there’s more of you
I will follow where you lead

Your love, it wraps around me
Everything drives me closer to you
Like a purpose where all seems wrong

When my spirit’s lost all hope, I am  blessed
When I bring peace to all those I know, I am  blessed
When a hole has been torn in my heart, I am  blessed
When for Your name they tear me apart, I am  blessed
I don’t need to be afraid ‘Cause you love me every day,
I am blessed              

Help me to find peace, Lord
Quiet my restless soul
Within you there is no loss
And your spirit makes me whole

Your love, it wraps around me
Everything drives me closer to you
Like a purpose where all seems wrong

When my mind and heart are finally right, I am  blessed
When I’m content with my lot in life, I am  blessed
When God is all the food I need, I am  blessed
When I care too much for all those I see, I am blessed
I don’t need to be afraid ‘Cause you love me every day,
I am blessed