Holding Doors

When I go to lunch, I will occasionally wander through our parking garage over here just to stretch my legs. In doing so, I simply walk out to where the lucky saps who get first floor parking go and just walk up the ramps. I avoid the stairwell entirely, which can create the occasional awkward situation when well-meaning people don't understand the etiquette of when to hold doors open.

Surely you've come across this before where you approach a door and the previous person, who you vaguely remember cutting you off when they arrived, has reached the door and is now holding it open. They're holding it open for you. You're still at least 10-15 seconds from reaching that door at your present pace, so what do you do? Keep the pace and take that full time? Do you speed up and run through the door to minimize the time of the person holding the door. Or simply scowl at the door holder before deciding to take a lap around the building once you reach the door and waste their time entirely for having cut you off only to enter the building at the same time (you know that was the guy - you recognize that massive nose a mile away).

What makes this scenario even weirder is that when the person for whom the door is held finally reaches the door, they tend to apologize for taking so long. What precipitates the apology? It wasn't as if they saw the potential holder in the parking lot and said, "Oh, hey stranger, mind holding that door for me that we can't even see yet? I'll be there double quick." No, the guy let himself in the building, glanced back and saw a possible one night stand and decided to go for it (you know that's what he was thinking - why do you think the chicks dig the nose?).

So there I am, walking out on my lunch time constitutional, and I am confronted with the open door. I didn't see the person open the door since I was still around the corner, but you know, they saw me coming, and pop goes the door. What do I do? Some dude holding the door for me, a random guy walking to the garage. Do I say something? Apologize that I didn't let him know my plans before he got that door for me? Waive politely and sheepishly as I pass by while avoiding eye contact at my shame of not taking his open door offer? Change my plans, and take the door anyway to be polite, and then sneak out once he's safely in the elevator? What if he doesn't take the elevator? Do I go to the second floor and walk about from there? What if he propositions me? This could get really awkward really quickly. What if he takes my acceptance of his open door invitation as a metaphorical acceptance to a "open door" invitation? That smile as I approach could mean anything.

I stop, pat my pockets, and turn around to return back inside for the keys I completely did not forget and jingle in my pocket as I give up on my quest for a walkabout.

A few minutes later, when I can be sure that the seedy door holder has moved on to easier prey, I return to the garage to get that walk in. I approach the door to the stairwell. Someone walks out, and ... crap.