Near Misses

Driving is dangerous. It's got to be one of the most dangerous things that people do on a daily basis, but fortunately, since we do it so much, we are good at avoiding trouble with it. Unfortunately, since we do it so much, we tend to get too comfortable doing it, and get sloppy. This leads to accidents. Avoiding an accident takes a combination of quick thinking and some very fortuitous circumstances. Every one of these incidents could have ended very, very badly if not for both my ability to swerve and the sheer dumb luck that a) no one was in my way when I swerved, and b) there was somewhere to swerve to.

My first near miss was on the highway between Oklahoma and Colorado. I was cruising down the road fiddling with my music (was listening to CDs through the radio cassette player like many people in 1994 or 5, I don't recall which), and up ahead, I noted, there was a car stopped by the side of the road. No big deal. Fiddled with the music a little more, looked back up, and now the car is on the road directly in front of me, and I'm closing fast! They were on the shoulder completely stopped only seconds before, and apparently in the time it took for me to look to my CD player and back to the road, they'd popped their car in drive and got themselves on the road going 0 to 60 in 4.6 minutes. I swerved and shot past them wondering if they even knew I was there. And then went back to switching CDs.

The second was in 1996 when I was driving in mid-town Tulsa with Allison's toady little friend, Hedy (see the right column for name explanations). I think I had taken her to give plasma or something, and we were coming back. We were behind a motorcycle just cruising along at a brisk 35 mile an hour pace when I notice the motorcycle is completely stopped. No brake lights. No turn signal. No nothing. Hedy shields her face, and I swerve to the other lane very narrowly missing them. My Camaro would have survived the impact just fine, but the pair on the cycle would have been killed or at least very seriously injured. Our hearts racing, Hedy and I spoke a little more easily for a time having lived through that one together.

I have to guess on when these next three happened, since I am not entirely sure of the timing. All three were after the Queen and I were married, but during the time of the 1992 Probe, which would be between 1999 and 2003, I believe. I'm kind of fuzzy as to when the Probe died its unfortunate death by lack of oil. If you are low of oil, put some in. Don't be like "I'll just be sure to get an oil change soon for three weeks." This has been a public service announcement.

My wife's family has gone to Roaring River, Missouri for years. They have campers out there and everything. So, it would stand to reason that once we were married that we would be spending some time out there, and I know the path from my house to that area very well now as well as how to get to the Walmart in Cassville. Yay. Anyway, while we were on one of those little jaunts in the Probe, I was momentarily distracted by something. I looked up and there was a car looking to make themselves a left hand turn, but having no luck doing so. There was no way I could stop in time, and since they weren't turning left, I sure wasn't going into that lane. Fortunately, this two-laned road had a shoulder, so off I go, passing a stopped car on a two-laned road at 35 on the shoulder. It doesn't get more illegal than that (it does, I know, but go with it, ok?) Better a little illegal than a big accident though.

This one was not remotely my fault. It is actually the only one where I was neither goofing off nor distracted. If I were distracted, there would have been a wreck. No, I was driving this Blue Lincoln the Queen had brought into our marriage (she likes Lincolns) while she was driving the Probe (I don't recall why though), and I was on one of the four-laned roads that make up mid-town Tulsa. I saw a car stopped at the top of a hill, so I changed lanes to pass it. As I approach the location of this car, another car pops out of the neighborhood right there, apparently sees me, and stops directly in front of me! I'm in this blue tank looking to make a jackknife of some aluminum luxury vehicle. Oh, I would have been fine, but they would be toast. you know what I did. I swerved. But you also already know I could not swerve into the other lane going my way because there is a car there. No, I swerved into the oncoming traffic lanes, narrowly missing that car. But my fun wasn't over. There was a car in that lane too, so I ended up in the outside lane of the wrong side of the road. As soon as that car passed me, probably freaking out with a slew of choice words, I got myself back into the right lane, and breathed a sigh of relief as I waited for my heart to slow back down to normal. That was my scariest one, but not my weirdest.

The weirdest one makes me really believe there is a God out there who does whatever the heck he wants. It was in Broken Arrow when I was driving down 91st between Main and Elm. I know it was in this area because I remember it vividly (which means I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure). It was before they had added the extra lanes, so I know it was only a two lane road at the time. I don't recall what distracted me, but I looked up, and there's that car in front of me, stopped. I did what I always do. I swerved onto the shoulder to recklessly pass the vehicle and went on with my life with a slightly accelerated heartbeat. Here's the thing. When driving down that road later, I noticed that there is no shoulder. Not even a little one. There's just grass. Grass and street signs. I've wondered for years where exactly I swerved around that car, and I don't know. They've since four-laned the road, but I still have no idea where I would have gone.

These like this and the actual accidents I've had illustrate to me the difference between teens and adults in driving. We all started out driving like idiots, but through our experiences, we learn that driving is extremely dangerous, and we figure out how to do it so we are not a danger to ourselves and others. Prior to all of this, I drove like an invincible maniac, but after these experiences, I understand why older people drive a little slower and have fewer accidents. Because they've already done it.

Drive safe everyone.